and you said cock pushups were impossible
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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