Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
