Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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