I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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