I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
