So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
