my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
if only i could text you this smell
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
wow bdsm is so cute
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
