2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
