Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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