And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize