Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize