Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Randomize
