ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
