My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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