My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
A+ Viking dick
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