You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
