A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
