i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
