he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
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