You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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