new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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