dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
