don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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