On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
