Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
