the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
