Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
