im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
