Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I just googled if crying burns calories
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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