Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
