kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I enjoy the company of your penis
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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