the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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