It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'm really busy with my period
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