RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
i now understand why vodka
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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