how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Randomize
