DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
