That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
