so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
