I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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