I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize