Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
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