It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
