There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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