What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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