butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
