oh god the rape fog is back!
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
honey bunches of taint.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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