im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
honey bunches of taint.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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