I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
