hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I got inside last night via doggy door
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
