he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
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