Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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