kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Randomize
