Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
