wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
