I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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