Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
