It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize
