I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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