She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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